Dress Coded: An Education on (unnecessary) Sexualization

dress-coded-1

When one Illinois middle school cluelessly decided to ban leggings & yoga pants because they were “distracting to the boys”, they probably didn’t have any idea it would be the catalyst to a national conversation about dress codes in school.

I mean, dress codes are like, so un-controversial. Until now.

Now, all sorts of interesting stories are surfacing. Girls wearing the same regulation gym outfits, but the curvier ones are getting dress-coded. Tall girls getting dress-coded for short garments, even though they’re finger-tip length, while short girls seem to not draw the same leg-bearing ire. One girl getting sent home from prom for wearing pants. Another girl was sent home from her homeschool prom because male chaperons said her dress was “causing impure thoughts”…for the teenage boys, of course.

So… Many interesting stories indeed.

The leggings ban irked me immediately for two reasons. The first being that these girls are in middle school, which means they are 11-14. Stop making them out to be devilish little nymphets, you creepy Humbert Humberts. These girls are not wearing yoga pants/leggings to show off the prepubescent shapeliness (ha!) of their backsides. The main reason girls (and adult women!) wear yoga pants is because they are heaven compared to the alternative:

Traditionally “cute”clothing for young women are notoriously restrictive and often painful.

The following images are from IMPRESSION, a photo series that shows what women wear, by the imprints left on their skin .  Here’s what form-fitting jeans look like:

jeans 2 impression jeans impressionjeans 3 impression

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Does that look comfortable to you?  Because it looks pretty damn painful to me.

Keep in mind that loose or baggy clothing for girls is neither “popular” nor “attractive” and even borderline socially unacceptable. Professional women: would you show up to the office in a baggy pantsuit? No? Then why would these girls show up to school in baggy jeans?

(This is a bit off topic but…) I really bothers me how schools insist that girls wear bras (this starts at, like, age 8-14 when girls start budding. Many girls and/or their moms have embarrassing stories of female teachers quietly pulling them aside, and delicately suggesting that she get a training bra), but then simultaneously decree that bra straps are inappropriate. This is like insisting all boys must wear socks, but the tops of socks sticking out of the shoes are inappropriate.  It’s just… so arbitrary.

bra 1 impression bra 2 impression

Anyway, back to my point: the (un)comfort of women’s clothing. Obviously girls are going to pick yoga pants/leggings over form-fitting jeans that cut off the blood flow in the hips. It’s not about looking “sexy”. It’s about comfort. To twist this innocent reason around and treat these girls as if they are temptresses is incredibly disrespectful.

The second reason the leggings ban irked me was the “reasoning” behind it.

It’s “distracting to the boys”

Ugh. Every sane person on the internet immediately called bullshit on this incredibly sexist statement. The basic and very valid counterargument:  Girls clothing is not and should not be responsible for boys’ behavior.  I’m actually not going to go too deep into this. I know if you’re reading my blog then you probably understand & agree with the counterargument. I wanted to take this conversation in a bit of a different direction;

One. 

It’s yet another reminder, and reinforcement, that a girl’s appearance is more important, and demands more attention, than her other, non-visible qualities. You know, qualities like intelligence, perseverance, athletic ability, tenacity, creativity, a hard work ethic… attention to those attributes seem fade away rather quickly once an inch of skin is exposed.

Instead, it teaches her to view herself in a sexualized gaze, from an outsider’s point of view. At an increasingly young age, getting dressed in the morning turns from “does teal clash with yellow?” to “is this too much shoulder? Can someone see down this shirt? Would someone be able to look up this skirt on the stairs? What happens when I sit or bend over? I should test that.”

It’s not necessary a bad way of thinking when getting dressed. But it’s a pretty damn insidious sign of something ugly in our society, when middle-school girls are worrying about people looking down their shirts, and adjusting what they wear because of it.

And schools, the institutions that are supposed to be teaching our kids the importance of education, teach the opposite when they pull a girl out of class because her tank top straps are only two inches wide, not the three inches regulation. It doesn’t matter if she’s the valedictorian working towards the Ivy Leagues. If one day her shirt rides up a bit too much (maybe it shrunk unexpectedly in the wash?), she could get sent home to change (perfect attendance award? who cares!).

Two.

Female bodies are not public art.

They are not for your viewing pleasure.

Or viewing displeasure.

Schools are teaching girls, at a very, very young age, that they are on-display, and that is not ok. They’re normalizing some pretty scary behaviors that women must put up with almost every day:

  • receiving unsolicited comments from complete strangers on clothes and/or appearance
  • fielding “suggestions” from others on how dress, apply makeup, or even style hair
  • being forced to change clothes because someone in an authority position demands it
  • experiencing the unwanted & unnecessary sexualization of her body by older persons
  • responding to all of the above with compliance and politeness

Not only that, but for women, the feeling of being watched is unsettling but very common. I feel on-display when I’m waiting for the crosswalk sign to change. I feel on-display when I’m at the gym. I feel on-display at the grocery store… the list could go on. Usually it’s because I see the leers, the quick up-down flick of the eyes, the possible mental-undressing (many guys have told me apparently this is a common, almost knee-jerk mental reaction, to imagine a woman’s clothes off? Idk, let me know in the comment box). Its pretty jarring to hear that some schools have become one of those places that treat girls like they are objects on display.

I think what we’re hearing online is girls expressing that the strange, inconsistent enforcement of the dress codes is sexualizing them against their will. I’m pretty sure every single private schoolgirl has been subjected to some crass “naughty schoolgirl” joke, or unwanted attention, due to their uniforms.

It’s not the girls.

It’s not their uniforms.

It’s the outsider’s gaze sexualizing  them.

Right now schools seem to be doing a really good job of teaching girls being female in public means their bodies are on display for scrutiny. And schools are doing a really bad job of teaching boys that staring is rude (to put it lightly).

Until this changes in schools, I highly doubt the more mature, serious variations of unwanted sexualization – street harassment, sexual assault, and victim-blaming – will ever fully disappear.

All I have to say for now is:

If you’re a teenage girl in high school, it will all be over soon. You will graduate (or exit with grace), and enter the real world where nobody cares if leggings show the shape of your butt, because everybody wears leggings and everybody has butts. And there is nothing inherently sexual with either of those things.

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182 thoughts on “Dress Coded: An Education on (unnecessary) Sexualization

  1. when males wear the same clothes as females, (women wear mens trousers these days so why not?) they will stop being so turned on by females wearing them as they will realise that its not about being sexy so much as being comfortable.

  2. Ive noticed, when wearing my leggings without shorts, that womens eyes immediately go “downstairs”, so maybe its only men doing this, maybe its just that men dont normally wear formfitting , revealing clothing. I have to say though that the women, having had a sharp intake of breath, then just get on with things and c ompletely ignore what Im wearing. Lets get men into these things and the world will change for the better. ……..after all, men wore these things FIRST !!!

  3. The question/poll is hard. Firstly, I agree with your article entirely. Secondly “it depends on the leggings” feels like a judgement call; I want it to read “it depends on the situation and the leggings” ie in a formal work situation I don’t think it’s okay to wear yoga or sweat pants simply because they’re too casual/ same as a man showing up in a greasy tee. In saying that, formal- as in well-styled leggings should be acceptable. But regardless, Schools should let girls wear what they want.

  4. Two days ago I was at school wearing jeans and a looser tank top (didn’t show anything but my shoulders obviously), and another guy in my class was wearing his jeans and his loose tank top, that also only shower his shoulders.
    While we’re both sitting in the class, he got send to the office for wearing the tank top, saying it was too “revealing”. I’m sure it was just the teacher, since he was sent back, but ok??? We’re not allowed to show shoulders to this teacher or are having shoulders a bad thing? LMAO.
    I found the fact that she did it to him and not to me weird. Even weirder that I’m female and he’s a male.

    I see what the point to this article is though, and agree with it to an extent.
    If a student is wearing a shirt that only covers her breasts/chest and shorts short enough to be underwear, That obviously shouldn’t be allowed because it’s not appropriate for an educational setting. They have plenty of time after school to wear that type of clothing.

  5. At least my girls’ school makes an attempt to be even-handed by requiring skirts/dresses AND shorts on ANY child to be fingertip-length, but I’m still uncomfortable that the teachers are supposed to scrutinize shirt/shorts length and whether shirts show _any_ belly when arms are raised (like on the playground, which is regularly). Most girls’ shirts aren’t long enough for that. I was pretty skeeved out by the fact that a male teacher asked a female teacher to ask my 12-year-old daughter to pay more attention to her neckline. She has a body type that is really challenging to find cute clothes for for her age and she is very self-conscious about her clothing. Really, after all we as parents go through to help her feel like she doesn’t stick out for her body and clothes, someone is going to call out my kid for a centimeter of cleavage? 50-year-olds have had enough life experience to be able to handle any neckline distractions they may have with grace, and all the other ones I know are able to do so with aplomb. Don’t make my daughter feel more uncomfortable than she already does as a young and athletic girl with the figure of someone quite a bit older–it is hard enough for her already.

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